yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
