So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Found the puke drawer
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
