'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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