Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize