I hate your face
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
