It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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