There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
