lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
