ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
