your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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