In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize