Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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