The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if only i could text you this smell
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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