You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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