Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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