ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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