Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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