You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
