I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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