Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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