my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
