Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
