her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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