yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
