I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
