dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
