Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Houston, we have a blender
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
