did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
