It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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