Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You need Xanax blowdarts
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
