I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
