In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
