How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
