He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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