I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I need moral support for this bender
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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