I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
