dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
