Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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