i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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