oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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