i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
