and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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