Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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