Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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