I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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