Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
