Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
