omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
