You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize