Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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