sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
