I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
