A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
