and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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