dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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