Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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