You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
