I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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