Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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