yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
