I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
