I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
