so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
