i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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