That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize