So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
