ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
