We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
her facebook's as public as her vagina
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
