If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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